Note the aloof bearing, the noble set of the ears, the haughty look in her eyes that tells you she knows you know she's in charge here, even though you pretend to be. Yeah, that's right. See that green leather? That's the couch. The one you spend most of the time telling her to get off of... see how effective it is? She's stealthy though... it starts with a head laid harmlessly on your knee. You have to pet it. Chloe is one of those weird dogs whose fur never really lost the puppy softness, so petting her ears is like jumping into a pile of clean laundry heaped on your bed that still smells like fabric softener...irresistible.
Oh, shut up. You know you do it too. Don't be such a snob.
Net thing you know, she's managed to work a paw up on to the couch beside you. This inevitably gives you a better shot at her head. Then, before you know it, she's got both front legs and her torso splayed out next to you.
Pet, pet, pet.
Somehow, when you're not looking, she's managed to squinch her entire body up onto the couch beside you, flop over on her back, and wiggle around until she's in the perfect position for a tummy rub. She's a freaking ninja dog. And she gets around it by being so damn adorable. I mean, for goodness' sake, she carries around her sleeping blanket in her mouth like a baby blanket.
Ridiculous, isn't it? This picture is kind of old; her new blanket is black and white spotted. She lies on the stairs on top of her blanket, and blends in. She likes sitting on the top step of the stairs leading down to the den, where nobody can ignore her.
I don't know how we got such a neurotic dog. She acts like a cat more than anything else. But she knows how damn cute she is, so she milks it. Today, she crawled up on bed with me (another place she knows she's not supposed to be. My belly is finally starting to pop, and I was rubbing cocoa butter on it in the ridiculously vain hope that maybe I won't get stretch marks (I can hear all you moms out there laughing your post-natal butts off me. Leave me the hack alone). The dog crawled up next to me, stretched out beside me, and flopped her head onto my belly. Awww. Of course you can stay on the bed with me. I'll even pet you and snuggle you up in the blanket. I don't mind that you stretch your legs out so much you nearly push me off the bed.
I'm going to be such a pushover... my kid's going to look at me with big toddler eyes and that will be all it takes. All it takes. That kid will be rolling in toys. I can just imagine trips to the grocery store now if I don't get this under control. Start praying for me now.