Saturday, September 12, 2009

21 weeks later, I'm finally starting to look pregnant.

Charlie is growing faster than I can keep up with him. This is actually a very exciting thing, because I'm finally starting to look pregnant. Still, nobody at work actually believes it, so here's photographic evidence that I do, in fact, have a baby and not one too many hamburgers in my stomach. Although, if I did, I might just post a picture up like this anyways to try to convince you that I'm not just chubby.

Note the classic "hands on top and bottom of the belly, pensively looking at the ground" shot. It's even in black and white with sepia tone layered on top. That's right. I'm artsy.

I made the mistake the other night of having a glass of chocolate milk before going to bed the other night. Dude. I totally had a PB and J with it too. And baby carrots. That's right, not only am I artsy, I'm five. And I'm totally craving chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers now.

Er. Anyways. Point being. (cough *preggoADDmoment* cough)

Charlie had his first sugar rush... and kept me up all night. First of many, right? I know. All you moms out there are cackling. I know it.

This morning, I had to be up ridiculously early to go to a mandatory licensing class for work on serving alcohol. Here's what I learned:
  • Don't serve booze to drunk people.
  • Don't serve booze to teenagers.
  • There's no technical law, per se, against serving booze to preggos. You would think... but of course if you refuse service to someone because you think they're pregnant, and they turn out to be... simply Rubenesque... they could potentially sue you for discrimination. Then again, if you knowingly serve booze to a pregnant woman, they can turn around and sue you for causing damage to their child. So... have fun with that one, Washington State.
The point of all this is, it was ridiculously early to be dealing with this kind of silliness, even if it is state-mandated. So I decided to take my one serving of caffeine per day as a cup of coffee, with about seventeen glasses of water. Charlie was doing back-flips the entire class. If nothing else, it kept me from falling asleep. And now he's kicking again, hard. Repeatedly. In the same place. Dude, kid.

Oh! ha. Yes. I got a job. This is news. Blogs= places to put news. Duh. Apparently there is a restaurant out there crazy enough to hire a pregnant chick to wait tables. Score. I was rather flattered, though-- I was one of seven out of 200 people to apply that actually got hired. So I've spent the last week in ridiculously intense classrooms learning about food, Italian wine, and how to write my name upside down in crayon on butcher paper. I still have to do two more follows with other servers and then take a humongous oral test in order to get "certified", but hopefully that'll be by the end of this next week. All in all, things are starting to look to find a job for The Husband.