Ooooh, shiny.

Notice the new beautifulness that is my blog? Yeah. It's pretty sweet. This is what I get for sitting through four years of The Husband's graphic design projects in college... I am easily bored and end up redesigning things on a whim. It's helping me keep my mind off the fact that The Bean is due one week from today. Scary, huh? Technically he could come at any point from here on out. The doctor said he'd be surprised if I made it to my next appointment on Tuesday, and my mother is convinced that I'm going into labor tomorrow (Friday). Uh, we'll see.

The Husband has been kicking butt and taking names with the job search stuff over the last few days; hopefully we'll start hearing back from companies soon. I've been on maternity leave from the restaurant since the first of the year, and I'm really paranoid that they won't let me take more than the federally mandated six weeks, which means that I will only have a couple weeks after the baby's born to actually re-adjust before going back to work. Sigh.

Right now, though, I'm going to enjoy the brownies I made... although I probably should actually eat dinner first. Problem is, nothing is defrosted, so I have no idea what I'm going to make. After that, I have a PBS documentary to watch called "the Human Spark" that I Tivo-ed last night. What's the best part? My favorite person in the world is hosting it. Brownies +Hawkeye= a good, good night.

Aww, I'm loved!

I received this adorable award from Krystal over at Tap That Mom the other day. I'll try to pass this on to some of my favs later this week... right now I'm pretty exhausted. I had a pretty bad fall at work today, and the doctor wanted me to come in just to get checked out, so we had to go to the ER as I didn't get off work until after 9 PM.

Thank goodness, everything is ok, and we got new ultrasound pics of The Bean. The staff was fantastic-- sweet, professional, completely on top of things, and best of all, I was in and out in less than two hours, which involved heart rate monitoring, an ultrasound, and blood workups.

Needless to say, though, it's been a long day, especially because I worked a double shift and have been fighting a rather severe cold/ flu thingy for the last couple of days. I'm feeling better for the most part, but I can't get rid of the cough and stuffy nose, and I think Hubby is getting sick too. So it's off to bed! Hope everyone is doing well in your neck of the woods.

Gratitude.

I'm tired.

I have been all day. In fact, I don't remember the last time I wasn't tired. I work, and I come home to stressful situations, and I don't really sleep at night for more than a couple hours at a time. I stress about:

• the baby being healthy
• gaining too much weight
• Hubby's job situation
• living with my parents
• whatever drama is going on at the moment with various people in my life

And here's the thing... these are all completely valid things to stress about, I guess. I want to stay healthy, it's important that Hubby gets a job, and as much as we love my parents, we don't want to live with them forever. and interpersonal drama is never fun. High school and college are over, people.

However, it's all been piling up, and it all really came to a head today for me mentally. Work sucked. I woke up feeling crappy and flu-y, had to go to work early, and then got shafted by a big party that sat in my section forever, and then i gave somebody the wrong change and had to pay for it out of my tips, so I basically made 2/3 of what I should have. So of course, I had a crappy attitude from the beginning, and it just got worse.

I finally drove home, listening to angry music all the way, sat down and read for a little while, and felt sorry for myself. And then I felt a little mental nudge. A memory popped into my head of one of my tables yesterday.

A young man and woman came in, neither of them over thirty. Both were dressed very nicely; the man was handsome, and the woman was absolutely beautiful. Not physically, but...

She was obviously very ill, or was recovering from illness. Her skin was wan, her face tired, and she was attached to an oxygen pump, the kind you usually see carted around by 75 year old people with holes in their throats. But she had the most beautiful, warm smile of anyone I had ever met.Although it was obvious that she wasn't very strong, and was very tired, her and her companion lingered over lunch, having glasses of wine, savoring their appetizers, ordering expensive meals, and enjoying each other's company. They laughed together; he touched her hand tenderly and she leaned over to stroke his face; they tried each other's meals. She was generous and kind even though she was obviously physically struggling.

I think that dealing with these people,and having the memory pop into my head today, was God's way of nudging me into the realization that yes, things are stressful and crappy right now on a lot of fronts, and it's ok to realize that and be frustrated and stressed and tired-- but things could be so much worse. Michael and I are healthy. He has a few job opportunities that look like they might pan out. We have a place to live and people that love us. My pregnancy has been, in the words of my doctor, "remarkably healthy and low-risk". The attitude is really unneccecary and counter-productive.

We are blessed.

That's not to say that I won't spend the next couple of days trying to stay healthy, both mentally and physically. I don't have to work Thursday or Friday, so I fully intend on sleeping in, reading lots, and just relaxing and making a concerted effort to avoid anything that stresses me out. On that note, Friday should be interesting. Lots of really amusing family dynamics coming in to play, on top of which, Hubby and I have to make dinner for who knows how many people. But if nothing else, I will sit back, observe, and let the chaos happen around me. Eye of the storm.

On a side note, Dad's got a cold-fluish type thingy, so I'm staying away from him, but I think I might have a touch of it, so resting for the next couple days is not a bad thing at all. I keep forgetting I can't push as hard as I usually do. There's a little person floating around my insidey-parts that just does not care whether the laundry gets put away, or if I work an extra shift to pick up some more cash. He just isn't happy when Mommy isn't happy.

Weekend Update

I'm really too tired to even think about being funny right now. The Bean is having a growth spurt, I think, and for the last few days has been sucking all of the energy out of me. Pair that with the fact that in the last week, we went from 85 degree weather to 55 degree weather-- literally, it happened in a time span of two days-- and I had a serious case of the fall blahs.

However, lots of positive stuff has been happening. We went in for my 24-week checkup on Wednesday, and everything is right on track. Good weight gain, good measurements, no complications so far, knock on wood. So that day we also went and did our baby registries for the shower, which my mother is very generously throwing for us/ me/ Charlie Bean on the 28th of October.

(Dude. that's totally this month. Thanksgiving is next month. Christmas is the month after that. And then, a month after that, Charlie will be born. Insane.)

Speaking of registries, that was one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life. Registering for the wedding was fun; that was all just gadgets and toys and upgrades and stuff that we didn't really need, but was fun to have. Registering for a baby... well, one, it makes it even more real. But also, you realize how much stuff this little person needs.

"Well, we definitely want to register for a breast pump."
"But then we need accessories for the pump."
"And bottles! ...Ohmygosh there are literally seventeen different brands of bottles."
"and we need more than one size of nipple....hehheh, nipple." (That was me... I have the mind of a 12 year old boy lately).

Ten minutes later:

"Where the heck are the diaper pails?!?"
"uh, do we need a high chair?"
"DIAPERS! Must. get. LOTS. of. diapers."

Notice how I totally thought about the diaper pail before the diapers? Yeah. Pregnancy brain.



On a completely unrelated note, there is only one thing that is EVER appropriate to say to a pregnant woman when you are talking to her about the physical manifestations of her pregnancy: "you look great/ beautiful/ wonderful/ SODAMNGOOD!"

Not:

• "Oh, you're hardly showing at all!" I'm 6 months pregnant. Don't freak me out about my baby not growing, please.
• "Oh, you're really big for six months!" Oh, you're really chubby for someone eating lasagna. Shut up. ( I had guests say both of the above things to me tonight... two consecutive tables that I was serving. Do I make comments on your food choices or your obnoxious tipping habits? Well...not to your face. And DON'T TOUCH MY BELLY!)
• "Are you sure you should be eating that?" That's between me, my doctor, and the parasite in my abdomen who is telling me that I must ABSOLUTELY have chocolate chips and garlic bread, along with a nice strip steak.
• "When I was pregnant, I never got sick!" Aren't you the lucky duck. Excuse me, I have to go impersonate Linda Blair.

OK, so maybe I'm a little... assertive.... tonight. Blame it on the hormones. (Every time I say "blame it on the...." now, my brain goes, "Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the henny, blame it on the blue tap got you feeling dizzy, blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol, blame it on the ah-ah ah-ah ah-al-co-hol..." Damn you, Jamie Foxx!)

Of course, all of this (except the part about Jamie Foxx) was said much better by the wonderfully hilarious Assertagirl over at Aiming Low. If you haven't checked out Aiming Low, you need to. It's a fantastic group of hysterical (in more ways than one) female bloggers. It is my crack.

21 weeks later, I'm finally starting to look pregnant.

Charlie is growing faster than I can keep up with him. This is actually a very exciting thing, because I'm finally starting to look pregnant. Still, nobody at work actually believes it, so here's photographic evidence that I do, in fact, have a baby and not one too many hamburgers in my stomach. Although, if I did, I might just post a picture up like this anyways to try to convince you that I'm not just chubby.

Note the classic "hands on top and bottom of the belly, pensively looking at the ground" shot. It's even in black and white with sepia tone layered on top. That's right. I'm artsy.



I made the mistake the other night of having a glass of chocolate milk before going to bed the other night. Dude. I totally had a PB and J with it too. And baby carrots. That's right, not only am I artsy, I'm five. And I'm totally craving chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers now.

Er. Anyways. Point being. (cough *preggoADDmoment* cough)

Charlie had his first sugar rush... and kept me up all night. First of many, right? I know. All you moms out there are cackling. I know it.

This morning, I had to be up ridiculously early to go to a mandatory licensing class for work on serving alcohol. Here's what I learned:

• Don't serve booze to drunk people.
• Don't serve booze to teenagers.
• There's no technical law, per se, against serving booze to preggos. You would think... but of course if you refuse service to someone because you think they're pregnant, and they turn out to be... simply Rubenesque... they could potentially sue you for discrimination. Then again, if you knowingly serve booze to a pregnant woman, they can turn around and sue you for causing damage to their child. So... have fun with that one, Washington State.

The point of all this is, it was ridiculously early to be dealing with this kind of silliness, even if it is state-mandated. So I decided to take my one serving of caffeine per day as a cup of coffee, with about seventeen glasses of water. Charlie was doing back-flips the entire class. If nothing else, it kept me from falling asleep. And now he's kicking again, hard. Repeatedly. In the same place. Dude, kid.


Oh! ha. Yes. I got a job. This is news. Blogs= places to put news. Duh. Apparently there is a restaurant out there crazy enough to hire a pregnant chick to wait tables. Score. I was rather flattered, though-- I was one of seven out of 200 people to apply that actually got hired. So I've spent the last week in ridiculously intense classrooms learning about food, Italian wine, and how to write my name upside down in crayon on butcher paper. I still have to do two more follows with other servers and then take a humongous oral test in order to get "certified", but hopefully that'll be by the end of this next week. All in all, things are starting to look up...now to find a job for The Husband.